Saltines, Gauze and the Gown of Shame

Hello, everyone! As I posted last week, yesterday was the big day of my surgery…The technical term for it is a “septioplasty” but for the people who don’t feel like googling that, it was a deviated nasal septum repair. I am feeling better this afternoon, but yesterday and this morning were not so fun. Still, I am looking forward to being able to breathe through my nose (something I have not been able to do up to this point) and reduce the number of sinus infections I get per year significantly. Woohoo!

Pre-op: Photo courtesy of the Ryan.

As you can see, the Ryan took GREAT pleasure in taking pictures of me in the Gown of Shame and my lunch lady hairnet. He probably took about 12 pictures and I believe one video recording as well. “For posterity” and “because you’re beautiful!” were his reasons, but I think he was moreso just enjoying seeing me looking ridiculous. After being stuck with the needle for my IV, bleeding all over, having my aunt flo visit me (and having to roll that dumb metal IV post around with me everywhere) and donning open-backed hospital garb (including undies!!) all on the same day, I was definitely not feeling beautiful. At least I got some groovy bed socks out of the deal, so I didn’t go home empty handed. And thankfully, the Ryan spared me and didn’t record (to my knowledge, anyway) me being high and ridiculous as the anesthetic was wearing off yesterday in the car on the way home.

I can also happily report that I was able to shower this morning AND brush my teeth, so I’m feeling a bit more human. Sadly, though, the anesthesia and my stomach are in all-out warfare, and I have been worshiping the porcelain goddess since yesterday afternoon. Clearly I am losing the war. 😦 When I am not on my knees in worship, though, I am happily dreaming of Stargate SG-1 episodes and other such nonsense in an oxycodone induced coma.

The kitties have not left my side, though, and neither has the Ryan (except for necessary items like gauze and popsicles. Hello, tropical fruit pack!), so at least I am well cared for.

Is okay. I keep your legs warm.

This guy is Sam, one of the two that we like to pretend we own. He has been everywhere I’ve been and even sat on the floor with me while I was sick. He has taken to making sure my legs and hips are warm. He is my very bestest buddy. Alpha cat rules.

This one is the Ryan’s buddy, Lestat, AKA Stattiepants. He is currently exiled to the other side of the bed because a) Sam won’t let him near me and b) He got the idea in his head last night that it was perfectly alright to jump from the floor onto my face…or just jump onto the bed and then climb on my face. After about the fourth time, I am pretty sure I flicked his nose so hard it made his little head spin, and he got the message. At least he still wants to be near me after that.

But alas, since I am going to be spending the next couple days on a steady diet of gatorade, ginger ale, Saltines, chicken soup, rice and toast, I will not be able to post any recipes. I had thought about having the Ryan post some, but I can’t really eat any non-bland food until I get this anesthetic out of my system and settle my stomach down. 😦 I am also blessed with a gauze mustache, a swollen nose and bruised I can’t even really taste anything. I also can’t stand up without becoming dizzy and nauseated, so the thought of trying to cook OR eat is like “ewwww.”

SO, I just thought I’d give you guys an update, and I hope to be back to myself in the next week or so.. 🙂 Stay hungry!!



Filed under Cooking

2 responses to “Saltines, Gauze and the Gown of Shame

  1. Ms. J.

    This blog the most well written, photo-studded food blog I’ve ever seen! Obviously, this young lady needs to write a cookbook for publication catering to people her age. That she includes her boyfriend “The Ryan”, her cats, her personal experiences (her recent surgery) and the style with which she writes, makes her blog not only informative, but wicked good reading, AND, she funny into the bargain! I think a standup comedy routine could be born from this blog! I am 66 years old and have learned much from this blog and fully intend to try some of these recipes! Cook On, my girl, Cook On!!!!!

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